Teaching confidence

December 4, 2009 at 4:29 pm Leave a comment

When my oldest was a little girl…I remember when my husband and I went to watch her at gymnastics. She was probably about 2, maybe 3 years old. The instructions were to run around the parachute and sit on the color they yell out. When they yelled…all the kids sat, except one. Mine kept running around and around the parachute. My husband and I were in stitches we were laughing so hard. I don’t think she saw us.
When she was about 6, she tried her hand at soccer. This was not as amusing, and we were happy when she decided this wasn’t for her…it wasn’t. In both cases we told her how great she was.
She liked music..and began playing the flute in 7th grade. By the time she graduated high school, she was in the top band in school and played in the “pit” for the high school play, The King and I. She learned 100 pages of music for this and played it seamlessly…it was beautiful. We told her how great she is. She is going to begin playing now in college.
She always liked dance…and in high school, made the dance team and the competitive dance team. And she’s good…really good. And we told her.
We spend our lives helping our children believe in themselves. I still have two more daughters living home that need to know how great they really are before the “leave the nest”. But when they leave, it’s not an easy transition to believe in themselves. Think back to being a teenage…and a young adult, always questioning…am I smart enough? am I good enough? am I pretty enough?
Teaching our kids (and for me, my girls) that they deserve the best, without making spoiled brats out of them is tricky. But as they get older, I am finding it easier to have honest conversations with them about my beliefs, values and faith in them. Sometimes though, I wish I had started these conversations earlier.
My oldest is now in a situation where I see she doesn’t have enough faith in what will come her way. I’ve tried to discuss with her, but she shuts her ears. So while I can see her future…she simply can’t. I’m the mom trying to keep her from getting hurt, but am also realizing that part of believing in yourself is the growing process that goes with it. She will learn from her experiences and will come out on the other end stronger…especially because she knows her family is always here to catch her!


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